literature

Three writers play slender

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Literature Text

(Fatfan attempts use a commodore sixty four)

Nick: What is that?

Dr-J33: Did you steal a prop from an old star trek show?

Fatfan: (Scoff) Like I could get it from those star trek nerds and they’re Vulcan death grips. Even though there’s no such thing as a Vulcan death grip. Spock just made up a thingy… or at least that’s why my sis said.

Nick: What?

Fatfan: I’m trying to play slender. That is if this stupid computer would work!!!

Dr-J33: I’m not sure that’s even a computer. I think that’s the first calculator ever.

Fatfan: Well I’m getting sick of this. PLOT DEVICE!!!

(Suddenly they’re in the woods)

Nick: What in the!?

Dr-J33: Are we in slender?

Fatfan: I would guess so.

Nick: Did you just put us in slender?

Fatfan: Probably.

(Nick calmly shrugs then violently strangles Fatfan)

Dr-J33: Okay let’s just hop the fence.

(Fatfan now with a rock penetrating his skull walked back to Dr-J)

Fatfan: With what? We have no arms! Just a flashlight.

Nick: We do have arms. We can clearly move them.

Fatfan: Well what are we going to do with all the flashlights!?

Nick: I’m sorry what? I thought I heard you say you want another rock in your head.

Dr-J33: Guys we have to get out of here.

(They walk over to the fence)

Dr-J33: Great. There’s an invisible barrier over the fence.

Nick: Let’s just collect the stupid pages.

Fatfan: Spoiler warning. What I’m about to say will in fact spoil the ending to Slender if you have any intention to play it stop reading this. But then slenderman will kill us!!! Our best move is to just chill in the woods and die.

Dr-J33: Wait. Why can’t we just tunnel under the fence?

Nick: We can’t?

Fatfan: I found the bathroom!!!

(Fatfan said standing in front of the tiled building)

Dr-J33: That’s a tiled building.

Fatfan: Incorrect. I found this toilet paperrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr- this is one of the pages.

(Fog rolled up around them as they could hear pounding)

Nick: I hate you.

Dr-J33: Well now what?

Fatfan: I say we punch Slenderman in the face; he’s not even that scary.

Nick: I say we sacrifice Fatfan and get out of here as Slenderman is devouring his stupid face!

Dr-J33: We should just run.

(They start running as the pounding echoes around them)

Nick: Well I for one think if any of us should die its Fatfan.

Fatfan: It’s too late! I’m all ready dead. OOOOOO spooky!

Dr-J33: Slenderman!

(They see Slenderman Dr-J and Nick run away as Fatfan swings his fist his arm not long enough to connect with slenderman’s face)

Fatfan: Well heck.

(Fatfan ran away too)

Nick: Wait shouldn’t you have slender sickness?

Fatfan: (Scoff) What do I look like a democrat? Or some other political person who is susceptible to slender sickness?

Dr-J33: Just keep running!!!

Nick: Wait! I think I have ten bucks! Doc you got any money?

Dr-J33: Yeah! I’ve got a twenty!

Nick: Great!

Fatfan: No you don’t.

Dr-J33: Why?

Fatfan: I bet scary spice fifty bucks you were Swedish. Then she broke my toes and took your twenty.

Nick: I hate you so much.

Fatfan: Come on! Let’s fight Slenderman!

(They run into the brick corner now cornered as Slender man approached them)

Fatfan: This is stupid. I’m gonna fight!

(Fatfan then threw his hat at Slender man then ripped his underwear off wadded it up and threw it at Slender man then took a shoe off and hurled that as well Fatfan then threw himself after not physically being able to do that he then opened his trench coat and chucked a jar at Slender man as it shattered pennies sprayed all around them)

Fatfan: Guys. I’m all out of stuff to throw!

(Slender man stopped)

Dr-J33: Now’s our chance.

(They ran but Slender man stopped them with a wall of tentacles Slender man walked up to Nick and reached into his pocket)

Nick:…

(Nick paralyzed with fear doing nothing as Slender man took out three pennies then scooped up the rest of the pennies and left)

Fatfan: No! Slender man just stole my nineteen dollars and ninety-seven cents!

Nick: YOU HAD THAT MONEY ON YOU AND DIDN’T TELL US WHY!?

Fatfan: I didn’t think it would help.

Nick: All in favor of murdering Fatfan?

(Dr-J and Nick raise they hands they then start beating up Fatfan)

Dr-J33: Why isn’t he dying?

Nick: I dunno!!!

Fatfan: That’s because in the edition of Slender this is based off of the player had no health bar and Slender man was the only thing that could kill you! And since the game has no line of coding made for any of us I’m surprised the game hasn’t crashed!!!

(Meanwhile in reality)

Fatfan: I’ve been trying to write a freaking ending for this story since September. POST!!!

(Just then the building inspect smashed through the wall his burly chest tearing through his plaid button up shirt exposing his waist to chest covered in thick hair holding a two hundred pound sledge hammer)

Fatfan: No way!

Building inspect: I’m the freaking building inspector! I’m gonna make you into a pancake for all the illegal altercations you made to this building!!!

Fatfan: Well… I guess I’m dead… oh well.
So yeah I've been trying to write this stupid thing forever between going nuts and... oh shit I just remembered my sister broke her leg today and I went with to the hospital... ANYWAY here's this story!!!
© 2012 - 2024 fatfan12345
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